It is a general perception that teaching is a vocation and it goes beyond the want to have a stable job. Though of course, for some educators, the stable monthly salaries attracts them into this job. However very often, we hear teachers complain about the endless hours spent marking assignments, preparing for lessons and having to deal with the perpetual amount of administration work. But the real beauty behind it is when you hear them say: At the end of the day, it's the students that matter and it brings me great joy to see them grow to become people for others.

I believe the key behind enjoying what you are doing is Passion: a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm according to Dictionary.Com. Perhaps I do not speak for all, but when you have a strong deep desire within you to want to do something, you will go all out to do it even though its difficult and even if it means sacrifices on your part. However, sometimes the problem comes when we are searching where our passion fully lies and where our hearts and minds are. I guess this is especially true for university students like us deciding where to head on after graduation. I might be simplifying things a lot especially when earning a decent salary is so important and a lot of times, many have to trade off doing something they really feel passionate about for a job the pays decently well so as to have a stable income. And for many, they spend a lifetime in the 'rat race' of the financial world only to look back and regret not being able to let the fire that was once in their hearts burn. Of course, there are also many who will testify how much they love their jobs. For instance, a particular priest mentioned how thankful he is to be able to celebrate the funeral of others for in it, he sees his role as giving hope and support. You can just simply see from the sparkle in these people how passionate they are with their jobs.

For me, if there is anything I hope for, it will be doing something that I feel passionate about. Somewhere deep within me I really don't think I can sit down in an office everyday and repetitively do the same thing day in day out. I need to have a changing environment with different people coming in and out of my life. Thus far, I do hope that teaching is a right option for me, even though many have warned me before that this job does not just entail having to teach students, its much worse than it and it also doesn't pay as well as my fellow peers who have the same qualifications as me. Perhaps its really tough and stressful, which is why so many teachers are ending up in IMH. Nonetheless, I will just move on and take this step and see where it takes me to. Hopefully at the end of the 4 years of my bond, I can say that it has been worthwhile and I have let the passion within me burn.

As I was walking down the pavement along a street after tuition and felt the wind blow against by face, I cant help but to feel a strong sense of peace and freedom - the sense of liberation. I came to a standstill and observed the setting sun in the distant horizon - the simple joy of life...

2 months into the long summer holidays but it seemed to just pass by in the blink of an eye. I have been so caught up in the many activities and events that at times, I feel that I do not even have time to myself, to just sit back relax and listen to my inner voice and reflect on the simple joy that existed in my life and yet I havnt been able to realise it. Ironically, it is only now when I am on my MOE school attachment, in my little cubicle with a desktop on my desk in some corner of the school, that I actually managed to find time looking back at the past semester and the holidays.

The past semester hasnt been all that smooth sailing with many ups and downs but one thing that I have gained from it is that all of these experiences both good and bad, only served to mould me and allowed me to grow as a person. At those times that I felt lost without a sense of direction, He has affirmed me - that in all things, He is always around guiding me even in my low times. I am thankful for the many friends that He has sent me to journey together with me - these friends or rather brothers in Christ were companions on this journey. On the topic of faith formation, being a CGL over the past 2 semesters has been a memorable and fulfilling experience. I have gained much from my CG members, through each of their sharings, through the weekly planning of CGs with Sam Tang, Max and Alex (Gal) and from my fellow CGLs. Even after 1 year, I would say that being a CGL is not an easy job at all, it requires lotsa time and effort but what makes it all worth it is when I realised how CG has made an impact on at least some of my CG members and it is such moments that I know that all these are all worth it.
(Gotta go for class... to be continued...)

You are who you are for a reason.
You are part of an intricate plan.
You're precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what He wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones He chose,
And no matter how you feel,
They were custom desgined with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, the trama you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so.
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

By: Russell Keffer

He had been more evident than ever to me over the weekend, He has placed people in my life for a particular reason and this time it is to remind me that He is always present, yes He is.. even when you think that He isn't. There are no such thing as coincidences for our God is an awesome God.

'Coincidence is just God's way of remaining anonymous' Sometimes things happen too often that its hard to just ignore it and label it as a coincidence. The beauty of it is that when it all happens, you see a beautiful picture unfolding and at the same time displaying His wonders... That is when you know why lives are entangled in some ways or another - to form up His tapestry... in this journey called life, is it really God's plan or is it really our own free will? Maybe its a hybrid of both...

Hearts on Fire Rally 2008 'Let Him Shine' - It was a good rally and the PAC was mostly filled with youths from around Singapore and the 3 universities. It is really heart warming to see youths coming together to experience Jesus through the Blessed Sacrament and the Spirit through praying over and P & W. I was even more delighted when I saw youths from Holy Trinity there as well as some of my fellow catechists. Music Ministry did a fantastic job with the P & W even though it was their first time. Thankfully, the programme and all went smoothly according to plan. At first, I was undecided if I should go for praying over till I was encouraged by Ade. I approaced Bro Terence who later asked Bro Jude to pray over me together. At that point, there was this fear within me. The fear that I would lose control of myself and the thought of how embarrassing it would be. Jude then said, 'its only Jesus, what are you afraid of.' And as I closed my eyes, I totally lost control of myself even though I tried to resist. Tried moving my limbs but didnt work, tried opening my eyelids but couldnt, after trying a few times, I decided to surrender and rest. It was really a peaceful feeling, I couldnt hear anything else around me even though I was still conscious. These few minutes were really peaceful, a feeling that is unexplainable and its something that I had never felt it before...

Litany of Humility - Justin, Cheryl and Magic brought up this prayer during CG two weeks ago, at first I thought it was just some ordinary prayer but after reading it, I realised that its really not easy to pray it.. nonetheless, its a good reminder for myself especially during this period of lent... here it goes:

Litany of Humility
Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930),Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...
That others may be loved more than I,Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

I have not been blogging so long that even my chatboard is down. Oh well, will probably get a new one in December when I have more time to blog.

With the passing of each new week, I reached a point where I actually asked myself what exactly have I been doing this semester. Have I been living each day without knowing what I want from it and achieving the most out of it? Just when I felt that life was monotonous, He has showed me how blessed I have been. At times I do not see the blessings He has showered upon me until the end of the journey. Fr Val told us to pick up small little blessings in our everyday so as to be able to see the goodness of life and help each other journey through difficult times. I guess He has provided me with many good friends along the way for me...

For the past years, I have always been teaching Sec 3/4 catechism but this year, it is my first time taking a Sec 1 class. I wasnt particularly excited or enthusiastic cos I expected them to be childish and I felt that I had to babysit them more than anything. I was so wrong, from their camp in September, I realised how much potential these teens have and how important it was to provide them with a good foundation right from Sec 1. The experience was different from the other camps I went, in fact I have learnt and grown a lot from them. Last weekend was the last class for the year, the girls in the class made a 'Thank You' card and gift for Danielle and myself. We were very touched by them as they were indeed really very appreciative of us. Guilty as I am for not putting much effort with regard to Cat class, it really was a great motivation for me to do more for them next year. I am glad that I will be following them up next year.

We also had our last CG this week. Being a CGL for the past 8 CGs has been an overwhelming experience. Its a different experience from teaching catechism, different from being in Artz Comm or any ad hoc comms. Its an unique and enriching experience in its own ways, so great that I cant be thankful enough for the experience and journey. Along the way, I realised that I questioned, worried a lot about things but in the end, the turnout was always different from what I had expected it to be, in fact, it was better than what we had planned. I have learnt to just do my best and let God do the rest. Really really, He has so abundantly bless me with the people in my CG of which I have gained and benefited from the various sharings, with wonderful vocals esp since I cant sing for nuts, guitarists to create a more melodious atmosphere and a great CG partner to work with who has creative ideas and making CG and CG planning so fun.

So what's there to look forward to now? Not much time to prepare for exams but I guess I do hope for it to be over soon so that I can just chill after that.

Holiday plans:
- Hong Kong Trip
- CSS Christmas Community Service
- Blood Donation
- Morton's Bar
- Board Game Cafe
- Night Cycling / Kayaking
- Christmas
- Catechist Retreat
- Artz Combine Thanksgiving CG

That's it for now.. will add on more later...

Gladys just reminded me on Sunday that it has been awhile since I blogged. Hours and days seem to pass really fast ever since school started. In the midst of all the hassle of work, its already Week 5.

Looking back at the past few weeks since school started, being in Year 2 is kinda different from Year 1. Gone are the level 1000 mods where the lecturers and tutor are more relaxed, having one whole lecture/tutorial for introduction before going into the core of the module. Tutorials seems so much more difficult now, I can actually take about 2 hours doing just 3 econs questions. To top it all up, I had to submit one term paper last week. But somehow through God's grace, Elaine (through some administration screw up, ended up having to submit her essay the same time as me too) was doing the same essay question as me. Though we are each doing our own paper, having someone doing term paper with this early in the semester was really an encouragement and she has really helped me a lot in many ways. So thank you Elaine. I have 2 more term papers and 5 more mid tests to go - wad kinda life is this - No life!

Gladys also asked me this: Am I someone that constantly need to find things to do? Dont exactly know how to answer but I guess so. At least it gives me a sense of purpose and direction of where I wanna go. Looking back, what exactly have I been busy with - can only come up with these few - planning upcoming church camp this weekend, CGs, tuitions and school work. With regards to church camp, the planning of a camp is really not easy and definitely will not be possible without the help and co-operation of the other Con 1 catechists esp Russell and Gladys. Both of you have really assisted me a lot and it is always enjoyable working with you guys. Though school can get damn sian sometimes, planning for CGs and doing CG stuff never fails to brighten up my day. I realised that it is actually damn fun planning for CG. Well, at least there is something to look forward to every week.

Dunno when will be the next time this blog will be updated.. probably after Con 1 Camp. I am not exactly in the right frame of mind for a Confirmation 1 Camp and being there as a Facil and camp chief - dun feel prepared and ready somehow. But I think I really need to tune myself for camp . Just gotta pray, pray and pray.

SJI Renaissance - it was actually quite disappointing, especially when you expected much more from the band's 50th Anniversary. The main band was really not very impressive but I guess the Alumni band made it much better. Somehow, the school spirit which made us outwardly proud of our school was absent that day. Felt quite paiseh, especially when I told people like Steph, Elaine and Rachel that they will witness the best school cheer and spirit around. Nonethless, I was a good gathering of old friends, some of which I have not met in years and also, it was nice meeting up with the teachers again.

The 3 Artz Holiday CG summarizes what I wanna say about this hols. CG1 - Relationship with God, CG 2 - Relationship with Family and CG 3 - Seeing God in our Friends. Attended the past 3 CGLs workshop conducted by Ben C and his team. It was really enlightening. I thought that being a CGL will be quite easy and similar to teaching catechism but I guess that is really not the case. Totally different roles and different approaches. We discussed about our fears of being a CGL and it all seem so real to me. Really have no idea how CG is gonna be like for next sem, whether we can outreach to more catholics on campus, the Year 1s and connecting with them. But I guess He has his own plans for everything and I should just leave it all up to Him. The Artz CGLs decided to take turn to plan the 3 respective CGs. I have came to realise the importance of having CGs during the hols - it is an avenue of bringing people like me back to God, otherwise I will be immersed in all the social activities day and night without realising that I am falling into spiritual dryness. It has also helped me to question myself if I have taken my family for granted.I remember typing an entry about taking family for granted a few months back. And when I look back now, I think I really didnt put in much effort in spending more time with my family. And now that hols are coming to an end, the same old routine of school will begin again with term papers, term tests, projects and family will not be my focus again. Time to do something about it - but the inertia is just so great, even though it is evident that my family care so much abt me. Friends - I must say that I am very blessed to have my family and also a fantastic bunch of friends - from primary school right up to CSS. The Bishop of Cebu celebrated mass in my parish yesterday - and in conclusion to his sermon - he said that 'There are no accidents in life'. And I believe it makes sense, everything that happens is not an accident - family, friends and daily happenings...

We had our final Artz Comm Meeting last week also - the 11th meeting. A year being in Artz Comm have come and gone. I am actually very thankful to the seniors in Artz Comm - Steph, Fel, Moses, Ade, Brian and of cos of SD - Fr Val. Right from the first meeting, I felt damn welcomed and it has definitely been a major stepping stone in bringing me closer to this CSS community. Though Steph said that she was a slave driver (perhaps all of us will agree.. haha), I think we all enjoyed ourselves being in this comm.. with all the laughter and nonsense. So just wanna say a Thank You. :)

Moving on to social activities - July is really a bad month to stay in Singapore. There are just too many birthday babies - from 1st July right up to the end of the month. I have celebrated and tasted more than 10 brithday cakes last month. I am sure Lyanna will agree with me. :) But it was great fun planning a massive CSS birthday celebration together with Moses and Lyanna on the last week of July. We wanted to just have a small birthday celebration but more and more birthday babies were adding on the list and so we did it - a massive birthday celebration for 14 July babies. And the latest social activity was the Dim Sum Buffet at Dragon Gate Restaurant - it was actually quite cheap and the food is reasonably good. Lotsa Year 1s joined us that day for the buffet, followed by CG at Cher's place. And yes, the SJI boys did one of the best cheer - Hail, Hail - at her place. Even the gals were impressed by us man - Ora Et Labora

Celebrated Russell's 22nd Birthday last week at Hard Rock Cafe with the rest of the guys and Wan Yong. It has almost been 6 months since we last saw Nicholas, Wei Ze and WY. Its always nice meeting up again and carry on from where we last left off. We bought Russell the Swatch watch below for his birthday present (photo below - chosen by MArc Khoo and myself). I would gladly like to have this classic leather strap watch if Russ doesnt want it, but I guess he kinda like it too. Just looking back at old photos of us 7 years ago when we were in Sec 3, I must say we really have grown up quite a bit. Of course, still not uncle yet but it is evident that we have all grown up - our conversations wasnt as crappy as before and we started talking about different stuff - internship, career, family etc... Nonetheless, its amazing how we managed to maintain the friendship though we are all leading different lives now and how we always attempt to meet up as and when possible.





The aftermath...
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Attending mass at St Joseph (City) somehow gives me a very nostalgic feeling - seems as if I had frequently visited this place before in the past. Stepping into the church itself, looking around, you will find the statues of the many saints. The serenity of the place brings about a unique sense of calmness and peace - a phrase comes to mind - what is life full of care when there is no time to stand and stare - to appreciate the simplest things in life in the midst of our busy and hectic lives.
We were looking around the compound for the restrooms. After spotting the sign, we followed along a narrow alley to the back. The whole scene brought us back to that of the 1950s, 60s (see photo below). Gomes used her phone and took the photos - used black and white mode to further give the nostalgic feel.

Moses and I outside the restroom - waiting for the gals

Walking down Memory lane...

Arts Gathering (28 Jun) - It was a great evening spent with some 30 others at Magic's place. Quite a number of freshies came. To prevent another round of stomach upset, potluck was stricter than the previous time - Moses and I wanted to Quality Control (QC) all the food, but in the end I think the food looked okay. And Steph surprisingly actually cooked her Black Pepper Crabs. It was not bad I must say, didnt know she can actually cook. Though I am not a big fan of crabs, killing crabs can be quite fun. Next time wanna kill crabs, just call me. Thankfully, no one had the runs after the event. We celebrated Moses, Frances, Carmie, Justin and Victor's birthday together. All the early July babies... something like a triduum already. Superb fellowship!



'Small Eyes' gang... Seems like Elaine has the biggest eyes!



Reunion of family members....



A big big community

OG Gathering at Helena's Place (30 Jun) - Seriously, I think my OG is super enthu and I must admit I am getting old already, cant match up to their energy level. We met up in the afternoon to buy presents to celebrate Shareen, Frances and Yvonne birthdays. (Another birthday triduum) We also decided to prepare our own dinner. And I learnt how to make Shepherd's Pie, which turned out quite nice. Will make this for upcoming potluck gatherings. Nick Lee, our head chef, prepared a unique version of pasta. We had a hell of a time after dinner. Yvonne introduced this game called 7th Grade Pig - a modified version of heart attack. This game got us quite breathless but it was fun. We also played mahjong, murderer and Polar Bear. I really like playing Polar Bear! Salimah is damn funny when it comes to Polar Bear - my great talk cock buddy during the game.


Fijians

Milk Run (1st July) - Elaine, Joel, Daryl, Ben C, Ben Huang, Albert, Debbie and I went for Milk Run. Some 12000 people turned up for the event. There was a massive congestion at the starting point, it was quite a distance before we could actually start running. We were blessed with a cloudy weather. I sprained my ankle again - old injury since FOC. I need to get an ankle guard soon. It has been quite sometime since I last ran, it was refreshing and it makes me wanna get my engines going again. Needa start running and training for IPPT next month. Gonna take it with Moses and Matthew and hopefully we will be fit enough to earn some money from the SAF.

Blood Donation / Minds / Transformers (3rd July) - Was supposed to donate blood together with Moses, Steph and Gomes. But in the end only Moses, Serene and myself went. And the best thing was, only Moses could donate. I can only donate 3 weeks after I recover from fever. Will be going again sometime next week, gonna get more people to go with me, right Steph and Gomes? More donors means more lives can be saved. :)
We met up with Gomes, Marc, Magic and Debbie at Minds. Having 6-7 people is a good number as it is an appropriate number to bring the fun out of most games. Ticket to Ride (Europe version) was a cool game. Talking about cool, nothing can beat Transformers! We were all blown away by the movie. It has been a long while since I watched such a cool action film. Simple plot of good vs evil but the whole idea of transforming a car to a larger than life robot is simply breathtaking. I especially liked Bumble Bee - he was transformed from a yellow chevolet. Perhaps, just perhaps, one fine day my dirty green Chervolet will transformed into some cool transformers too. Megan Fox is also worth the watch. Ratings for this movie - 5 out of 5 popcorns!

FOC Followup (4th July) - Follow up starts at 6pm but Fiji decided to meet up earlier at 3pm. This is the 5th time the OG is meeting up since FOC. Happening rite. We wanted to cycle but it took us quite awhile to find the bicycle rental shop. I realised PAsir Ris Park changed quite a bit, though I stay really near the park, I hardly ever use it. The few of us finally got our bikes and we headed for the playground. We were behaved like some over grown children - playing with the slides, climbing and jumping all around. We even climbed our way right up to the top of the spider web. At the follow up proper, I saw many few faces. It was a good gathering and I guess it officially marks the end of FOC but the start of a new journey for the freshies. Finally, I decided to go Mambo with the CSS peeps after BBQ. There were some 18 of us that went. I am glad I went cos the company was really good. And also, it was the first Wednesday that Zouk went smoke free. It feels good clubbing in a smoke free environment.



Deprived childhood?


At the top of the world...

Nice photo!

Enjoying life to the max..

And so, that's the happenings of my life the past week or so. Can someone tell me why is time passing so fast? It feels that the holidays are only just beginning...

Yesterday, I met up with my Sec 3-4 form teacher, Ms Richards, together with Russell and Joseph. It was great just meeting up over a meal and talk about those good old days. It has been 6 years since we left SJI but I must say those memories from Secondary school days were the best. Talking about SJI, the military band performance, Renaissance, will be on 21st July at NUS UCC. Will be asking around who wanna watch then maybe we can go get the tickets together.

Initially, Russ, Joe, Rosie and myself had lotsa plans for this weekend - from eating at Katong, to Settlers, to Ubin Cycling, to Novena, to over night mahjong at my place but we only managed to eat at Katong and go Settlers. We were kinda tired from all the activities prior to our meeting up and to make things worse, my nose started to leak like a tap. I even had to grab tissue from the toilet. Fatique was setting in and the fever started to come up. So much for all the plans but nevermind, I will organise mahjong really soon.

Finally, I reached a point where my body tells me that I really just needa spend a few days at home to rest. It has been about 9 weeks since exams ended, been on a trip to KL, Vocation Retreat, Artz Retreat, FOC and a whole lot of other activities. Looking back I think there isn't one full day that I just stayed home and slack. Probably today is the first day but its because I am down with fever and this time cant ignore alr. Oh well, its time to just enjoy the comfort of home and to recharge myself for more activities to come before school starts.

In the midst of recovering from FOC, I went ahead for my first Fiji OG outing last Monday. I must say Nicholas was really siao on to organise OG outing just right after camp, but it was really nice to see the freshies bonding well with one another. They actually missed each other after 2 days. We went to Miss Clarity Cafe for lunch. Finally had a chance to dine in there. I think the trick is to go there during lunch time and not dinner. Cos the cafe was relatively empty when we were there. We went to Minds cafe after that but Carmie and I left early for Artz Senior Farewell at Vivo. We had a nice cosy dinner at Vivo Marche but many of us were sick - the aftermath of FOC but we didnt really care. Had a prize giving ceremony for the seniors (thank you Fel for preparing the gifts for the seniors on behalf of Artz Comm) and photo taking session. We also played Polar Bear in the open area outside Marche. It was quite fun and comical.

Gomes birthday celebration was on Tuesday. I think we really surprised her. Things went according to plan although we waited about 2 hours for her. Actually we took out one item from her birthday gift - 3 fake cockroaches. We wanted to include the cockroaches in her birthday package but after seeing the strong reaction from the other gals, we decided to just do away with it. It was a good celebration with a fantastic Chocolate Indulgence cake from Secret Recipe. It was nice seeing her shocked, surprised and touched. We watched Fantastic 4 after that but it wasnt up to expectations. There was a lack of climax throughout the story. Perhaps the only good part about the movie was Jessica Alba.

Watched Oceans 13 yesterday with CSS peeps - definitely a better movie than Fantastic 4. We somehow got 10 complimentary movie tickets passes due to a 'boo boo' the cinema had made. We should use the passes for Transformers - a movie not to be missed! More activities in the coming weeks - Blood donation (long overdue), OG Cycling, OG BBQ/Stayover, Mahjong Sessions, Transformers, Artz Gathering (to welcome Freshies), Milk Run, Kushinbo Buffet and a whole list of birthdays coming up starting from 29th June all the way to 30th July. I need $$$$$, more tuitions needed to survive the coming month!

NUS CSS FOC 2007 - It has been a long six days, running on pure adrenaline but at the end of it all, it was all worth it - the joys, the laughters, the sharings and the tears.I have gained a lot as a facil from this FOC. It is different from other orientation camps or any of my church camps cos CSS FOC is a hybrid of both. Amazing isnt it. Having a Christ centered camp in the midst of all the fun.

DaY -1 and 0 - Facil workshop started last Sunday and Monday with all the facils and some befrienders coming together to know one another better, learnt the funky mass dance as well as to know the programme for FOC proper. Raymond, Salimah (Frances), Helena and I were co-facils. At the start, I really didnt know any of them well at all, didnt even know how Helena looks like. (maybe a bit more for Salimah cos I always ask her whether she got sweep the floor). All of us had different characters but through FOC, we made use of each other talents and weaknesses to assist one another. I have learnt a lot from Raymond and of cos getting to know Salimah and Helena better too.


Day 1 - Initially there were only 4 freshies in our group (Fiji) - 3 gals (Serene, Yvonne and Joyce) and a guy (Nicholas). We were kinda worried that Nicholas will feel left out in the midst of the gals. But thankfully, He sent another person - another Nicholas. And both of the guys already knew each other in JC. At first, the freshies were really quite quiet. When other groups had already started 'Ra-Ra-ing' away, they were still very much reserved. At that point in time I felt a bit disheartened. However, during the session where they had to design their own group flag, I saw how they opened up to each other and they co-operated really well. They also came up with cheers by themselves. The best thing was that they did it all by themselves, we their facils didnt suggest anything at all. I felt they have bonded really well with one another and I am sure the other facils will agree with me as well. And I learnt something important, not everyone is 'Ra-ra' by nature, what matters most is how people bond together through the various activites and learn to love and care for one another.

Day 2 - The team-building games were really fun. Got really wet (thanks to Carmie and her team of gals at her station). Fiji bonded really well and the cheers were getting funkier. This day was faculty day also. We had faculty lunch at the forum. It was great seeing all the Artz freshies. Most of them were gALS with only 2 guys. Faculty sharing at night was really good. Though sharing at first was supposed to be just a general sharing about FOC, I am glad that it became more than just that. From the sharings, I came to realise that I really love this Artz community a lot man!

Day 3 - By this day, the facils were all becoming zombies and moving around in auto pilot mode. Nonetheless, seeing how the freshies were bonding and enjoying themselves, it gave me the energy to hang in there. Competitive games were fun under the blazing sun. I enjoyed the game of soccer cum captain ball a lot. Maybe we can organise such games in future. Was nodding off during the Choice Talk as well as Taize.
Of cos, the best part of every catholic camp I think will be recon night. This time I had the opportunity to be in one of the praying over teams. At first, I was worried that I wasnt spiritual enough to pray for others especially when I was terribly lacking of sleep. But I decided to just try. I got paired up with Piglet and the experience was good. While praying for those who came to us, I could feel the Holy Spirit working through us especially Piglet when she started praying in tongues. This is the first time that I witness someone speaking in tongues. Though kinda uncomfortable initially, I realised that it is actually such a wonderful gift. It gave me more encouragement to go for LISS.
After night reflection with my OG, they had to start preparing for their skit. I was really impressed at how they already had come up with a rough plot and a song for it. It was a great skit and I enjoyed rehearsing the skit with them a lot esp all of those bimbo moments that they had included into the skit. All of us started getting really cranky and I realised that the gals in my group really got potential to be excellent bimbos. Can join Steph and Fel bimbo club already.

Day 4 - Solemity of Sacred Heart - Archie came to celebrate mass but many of us were really nodding our heads away. As we were about to head to Sentosa, it started raining heavily. We gathered as one community to pray for good weather and sang How Great Thou Art. At Sentosa, the rained stopped and we were blessed with a good sun. All the groups displayed their skits and of cos Fiji got the best skit. :) Played with water bombs and threw people into the sea. And guess wad, we saw two rainbows in the sky. During last year FOC, it also rained and we also saw 2 rainbows in the sky. I remembered how Steph was exclaiming about how great God is by showing us the two rainbows. Back then, I just thought it was just a coincidence, but this time, I knew that it wasnt. I really felt that HE was watching over us throughout the whole camp and has bless our community abundantly.

It was really an awesome FOC. I came to this FOC without expecting anything but in the process of it all, I have gained so much. I have got to know many other seniors better from other faculties like Science and Law. I am sure other seniors will feel the same as me when our freshies affirms us that they have never attended a camp like CSS FOC and how they felt the love from everyone. It is also nice to know that the freshies really miss camp and the community like ours. Amen!

'I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, Thy power throughout the universe displayed... How great thou Art!'

Been quite awhile since I updated this blog. Lotsa activites in the past 2 weeks. Met up with good old friends like Joseph, Russell, Josiah, Chris Yeoh and Lydia. I realised that it was been about a whole semester since I last saw them and to really just chill out with them. Never mind, the holidays are still quite long, we can still meet up more often.

Went for another retreat - Artz Retreat 2007. There were about 20 of us at the retreat. Though the number is small, it was a good retreat. The sharings were very personal and it was very much prompted by the Spirit. It is amazing how the Spirit actually works, and how it allows each one of us, through our brokeness, be an instrument to reach out to others. Many hearts were unlocked and more importantly, it brought people closer together. I felt very recharged from the retreat, managed to get back to where I left off after CAW, it has been quite awhile since I felt the workings of the Spirit. Of course, there were lotsa crapping and fellowship as well. Like wad Bro Sam said, 'REMEMBER' is important, remember the experience, remember the memories and remember how the Spirit was so evidently present in this retreat. And I decided to sign up for Life in the Spirit Seminar (LISS). I never been for praying over before, and I hope I can overcome that fear or the reluctance to let go during LISS. We shall see how the Spirit gonna work through me then. :)

Played badminton today with CSS peeps, it was fun just to sweat it out. Needa re-string my racket already. After the game, got one big hole in the centre of the racket. We chilled at Macs after that and we came up with a list of more activities that we can do - street soccer, cycling at ubin, nite cycling, kayaking, roller blading (damn I gotta learn this first man), dry swimming (mahjong). And for charity - Blood Donation and Milk Run. Along with movies, suppers and FOC stuff... June is gonna be quite happening.

Vocation Retreat 2007 - 11 - 13 May. The whole retreat was really a good experience and an eye opener for me. At first there was this fear of going but now that it is over, I am glad I went cos I benefitted a lot from it. Not in the sense of making new friends or enjoying yourself throughout the retreat but rather its sorting out many thoughts in my head.

Basically, the entire retreat was just sessions after sessions, followed by sharings within the group. They fed us really well with excellent food. The sessions were all about vocations, it was very informative and thought provoking. The main thing that caught my attention was that no matter which vocation we choose, we must be able to feel that sense of inner peace. And to really think about which vocation will allow us to be better persons to serve the people of God. But it came to a point where saturation actually sets in. It became too much for me, I didnt wanna think about vocation anymore. Wanted to just escape from the seminary from all the talks. There wasnt any games/sports, it was just talks. It was so bad that I even wanted to skip evening prayer. I felt disappointed with myself then and felt kinda unworthy also. Looking around, there were younger people around me, some even as young as 17 years old, trying to learn how to sing the psalms for prayers, people going to adoration room to really pray about it. I didnt feel like doing any of it, I just wanted to run away with Aaron who had to attend a wedding dinner that night. There was Recon at night but I didnt feel like going for it as well. During one of the Group sharing (I was assigned to Fr. Val's grp together with Aaron), we were suppose to share about what we felt was our call, so I shared. After that during tea, Fr. Val asked me again, and he said I was confused and needed more discernment. Haha. Though he was joking, that struck me quite a bit, I wanted to leave the retreat without such confusion.

The opportunity came during the prepration of Recon and the Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, it was then that I felt God trying to speak to me. I managed to really pray and organised my thoughts, to really listen and decide wad I wanna do with my life and then offer it up. My plan may not be His plan, but I believe He will guide me through. With that, I went for Recon and I got Fr. Ambrose Vaz as my priest. He was amazing, he just spoke right through my heart and I felt that inner peace. Coupled with the Blessed Sacrament, it was the most awesome 'Down in Adoration' I have ever sung. It was amazing and I was confused no more.

On the last day of the retreat, Fr Ambrose was doing a session and he said this 'Walk with faith, not by sight', 'We see but do not look, hear but do not listen'. How true it is. I realised that the fear before the retreat, at least for me, its not wanting to pray about it and really listen to my heart, cos I am afraid of listening and to find out that maybe there is a calling. Now lookin back, it was a very foolish thinking, there is no point running or hiding, try to find out that answer and seek that peace of mind. You can run but you cant hide from Him. I believe if you ask any of us that went for the retreat, myself, Moses, Aaron, Ranneth, Netto, Ben C and Jason, we will tell you that its worth the time. I guess this will apply to gals as well. Doesnt matter what you want in life, we just need some time to really pray and listen to what God has called each one of us to do and what He wants of us- that is to serve his people in the way that is the most suitable for us.
Amen!

Phantom of the Opera - somehow I am hooked on the songs. After watching it at Esplanade, I watched again twice on DVD. The whole stage effects at the Esplanade was splendid and awesome. Actually, I didnt feel that the love story behind it was that fantastic and I didnt feel much for phantom. But the songs were good. Its the kind that makes you wanna hear it again and again till you are sick of it. Now I understand why Marc and Lyanna can sing it over and over again.

My first hands on experience in getting a pizza out of the oven. Back in SJI, we didnt take Home Econs so no chance to learn how to cook. And when I am at home, I am just too lazy sometimes to really bother to learn. Nonetheless, it was great fun trying to make pizzas with Jem Pang, Gomes, Carmie and Rachel. We met up damn early. Before the gals joined us, only Jem and I were shopping for the groceries. Seems kinda weird but we didnt care. Went to Gomes house and started making a big mess in her place. We made a total of about 6 pizza and considering we are newbies in this business, I think the outcome was not bad. Though some parts of the crust was burnt and the kinda hard, but overall was edible. These pizzas were for Magic's birthday party. Some 30 over people came for the party, mass gathering of people in his house coupled with lotsa home-made food...

Posing with our first pizza, freshly out of the oven

Random shot

The 'before' look of our pizza

And I started relief teaching yesterday at SJI Junior, but its a day to day assignment. Hopefully I will be able to get a long term one. Somehow, I miss teaching a lot. The interaction with the students (though cannot smile - which is the hardest part) and other teachers make the whole working experience enjoyable. Of course, this is without all the other sai kang that full time teachers have to do.

This is the kinda holiday life man. Work as and when you want, relax and busk in the company of good friends and good food. But of cos after all the eating must go exercise also. Finally, going for Vocation Retreat tmr, somehow think quite a few people I know from both CSS and my parish are going. I think it will be a good experience and more importantly I hope that I can gain new insights over this coming weekend.

Just got back from Kuala Lumpur two days ago with Daryl, Mag, Marc and Elaine. I must say it was really a good break from studying and exams. Being able to leave Singapore and just step onto the soil of Malaysia felt really good. Leaving everything behind and just rest and relax.

Day 1 - We came to realise that the 5 of us going on a trip together was really random. But somehow over the course of the day, we kinda enjoyed each other company with all the suaning and the nonsense. Mag and Daryl needed to leave on the following day so we cramped lotsa activities together. Checked in, shop - i actually bought the most from the trip man, planet hollywood, night market and finally Zouk. Communication with the locals was easy cos Daryl and Marc could speak in Malay while Elaine and myself in Cantonese. It made bargaining at the night market much easier.

Day 2 - We went for 8am mass at st John Cathedral. I had never attended mass out of Singapore before, it was a good experience. Though mass was very much the same, I just felt that the whole experience was wonderful and refreshing. I had A&W for breakfast.. it was good shit man, cant remember when was the last time I had their root beer float and coney dog. After Daryl and Mag left us, it was just Elaine, Marc and myself. We caught a damn crappy movie - Tornado (if it ever gets screened in Singapore, please do not watch it). We saw the indoor theme park at Times Square and both my seniors and myself decided to try the roller coaster, bumper cars and a 360 degrees ride. Cant help but to admit that I am getting old, when I was on the 360 degrees ride that rotated 16 times in all and hanging in mid air, I asked myself why did I actually put myself through this. But it was great fun. Visited Hard Rock- their band was quite good and finally we just chill off through the nite crapping till 4am.

Day 3 - Slept till it was time for breakfast. After breakfast, we slept till it was almost time to check out. I guess we really utilise the hotel room quite a bit. And when we was on the coach bus, we slept our way back to Singapore again. Hmm, we were really pigging out on the last day, just eat and sleep. Well, to catch up on the lost sleep over the course of studying for exams I suppose.

It was great company I must say. Got to know one another better and more importantly, this trip marks the start of the long holiday ahead.

4 modules down and finally one more to go this Friday. The past 2 weeks has been really intensive.. studying in central library and sometimes airport. The scene in the library is overwhelming, every table is practically filled up with NUS students mugging away, making use of whatever time they have left to study for the exams. I belong to this group of students as well. But I guess it is always nice seeing familiar faces around - the CSS peeps. They have been great company, standing by each other through this difficult period esp when everyone is already so stress. And what makes this 2 weeks really different is going for evening mass everyday. Some how it has become a routine, always looking forward to mass... perhaps its the sense of peace and the rest that I hope to get at the end of a long day. It has been rewarding. Though, this sem has been a mad rush trying to finish studying, I must say I enjoyed this process though. Not so much the studying, but rather its the fellowship.

Mag shared this with me today and it gave me an answer to so many things. Decided to blog it down so that I can refer back to it again when I need it in future and to share with whoever that comes across it as well. Here goes:

"There will be times when you will not see the immediate way ahead. You may be filled with panic, wanting to avoid what could be a disastrous step. Remember that you do not always need to see the road ahead. It is sufficient, for the moment to see Me.
When the time is right for a choice to be made you will know and I will assist you through it. Until that time be sure that keeping close to Me guarantees your moving in the right direction, despite questions and doubts raging in your mind.
When you cannot see clearly the next step, there is a good reason for My witholding that awareness. It becomes a time of trust... trust, very often, that I will simply cause My wish for you to happen! Do not feel the awful responsibility of choosing your path when that is not necessary for the moment. Just hide in Myself and know that you will soon see clearly... Until then, you are precisely what I want you to be."

Better give credit to the author or might get sued for plagiarism. Its from the book 'I Am With You' by Fr John Wooley. 'Trust' is the key word, no matter wad happens, trust in Him and know that someday somehow, He will show us the light, for us to walk our paths.

Glad that last week is over, and more importantly its the start of Holy Week. Paul asked me this yesterday: Christ resurrected, will our hearts resurrect with Him??? Yup, so for this Holy Week, am just gonna pray that as one community and one church, our hearts be united, and resurrect with Him during Easter!

For every high, there is a low. I guess this applies to spiritual level as well. I was on a spiritual high during CAW period, just surrendering everything to His hands. But after CAW, it started going downhill without me even realising it. Perhaps its due to the crazy amount of school work to catch up, rushing to study for tests and doing term papers and finally to this point-trying to get started to start studying. Nowadays, I can be so cynical and even question wad is the point of fasting, going through all the daily prayers, stations of the cross, CGs.. all these just seems so routine and is there really a purpose for it? Am I doing this just because it is Lent and not really bother about the true meaning behind it? Didnt really realise it till Steph pointed out to me that I am actually losing focus from God. It got me thinking real hard the past week, yup its true that I have lost focus.. I felt it even more when I go for Novena every Saturday and read out the phrase: 'Mary, Let me never lose my God'. I guess when you lose your God, everything just seems out of place but when you are align with Him, even when things go wrong, you will still feel at ease cos you know that He knows what is best for you.

And so at this point, I guess its time to pick up from where I left off since CAW... and just focus on Him and exams which is 3 weeks away. From then on, its time for me to give thanks for a great Year One I suppose. For all the new friends I have made along the way, never expected my uni journey to be like how it is today and it will definitely will not be possible without all the people He has provided me along the way and allowing me to grow in this fellowship...

Finally I have time to sit down and just spend some time typing here. Been spending hours in front of my laptop throughout the week. It seems that it has become my next best friend. My first time writing term papers this sem, sometimes i just wonder if it is worth putting in so much effort when some of the papers are just 10%. Must thank Steph, Fel and Marc for helping me out this week as well. And so, I am finally left with one more term paper for Understanding the Universe then its exams.

Yesterday CG's topic was on drawing strength from God. Through the sharings, it made me realise that I am really taking my parents for granted, esp my Dad. After spending hours in school, I just spend the rest of the night in my study room facing my laptop again, sometimes not even doing work, just some random chats on MSN. I literally face the laptop for more than half the day! I rarely even speak to my Dad. I will only approach him when i need $$$ or a ride to school... Always tell myself must change for the better but no effort done!

Death happens every other day. Someday somehow, it will happen to us and our loved ones. When it comes will I be prepared for it or rather will I be prepared for the lost? When things happens, we often use the phrases - its' God's Will and in all things he provides, draw strength from him etc.. cliche as it may sound, but I believe it does help. I guess the hardest thing to reconcile is the regret of not doing things like spending time, forgiving and loving.

Dun wait for things to happen, make things happen!

This week was one of a roller coaster week - high stress levels, lotsa questioning, lotsa doubts, lotsa temptations but at the end of it all, HE allows us to make the choice in whateva we do and sometimes we just have to do what is right. Thursday CG was good for me, very much on personal reflection and it was an apt time for many of us who are experiencing many issues. We were asked to write petitions and thanksgiving letters to Our Lady and Magic will submit it for us during Novena. Always wanted to write but no concrete action till last CG...finally it is done.

Fr Val gave a great sermon on Friday and i believe it reached out to many of us that are feeling troubled, stress, worried about various aspects of our lives. All in all, HE can draw straight lines with crooked lines... ie, He chooses sinful people to make perfect His plans. Fellowship on Friday was excellent, somehow everyone just enjoyed each other company and were reluctant to leave after dinner at Holland V. But indeed it was great company, we had people from different faculties. Bro Sam was also there promoting vocations! Yes vocations, even for the gals....

Watched 300 and Letter from Iwo Jima this weekend. I enjoyed Iwo much more than 300 actually and in fact Iwo was better than Flag of our Fathers. 2 more movies to catch b4 the exams - Teeenage Mutant Ninga Turtles, Bean's Holiday. And somehow became the honourary member of Steph and Fel club together with aaron and daryl song with magic as the hon. treasurer. Another member joined today, bestest friend -Charmaine Khoo, for her classic moment.

Happy 20th Birthday Mallery! Sam, Daryl and myself met up with Mallery to celebrate her birthday. Wanted to have dinner at the new Marche at Vivo but it was damn crowded, ended up with Sushi Tei instead with Ben and Jerry ice cream instead. We bought 2 pints of B and J and went to the open air 3rd floor of Vivo to eat.. The place is scenic at night man, damn suitable to bring your other half to just enjoy the cool nite breeze under the stars. :) In the midst of the mid term tests and assignment, it's actually a good break and to just relax and enjoy the good company, ice cream, scenary and just chat randomly. Brought back memories of good old JC days when you just do random and lame things. Ended up with the idea of wanting to start a blog for us to post photos and craps. The gals wanted to give the blog name... from Ah Huats and Old Maids at first to Ah Huats and Ah Huas... we finally decided on This This That That. As usual, ended up taking lotsa photos, so I shall just upload it here for you guys to download:

This Gals

That Guys

This This That That

Year 1 Sem 2 Week 7 - back to school from the CNY break... Looking at my planner for the coming weeks, I kinda realised that its gonna be school work and more school work till end of term. 4 mid term tests spread across 2 weeks and 3 term papers - 2 of which due in March. Then its time for exams come end April. Cant wait for this sem to be over and for the long awaited 3 months holidays to come.

Today is the 2nd day Artz comm did Bread and Water fast for Lent. Fr. Val joined us in our prayer and 'break-fast' together with us. Think today is the first time Artz Comm actually came together for dinner without having meeting either before or after which I guess its a good time for all of us to get to know one another better. He brought up that there will be a Vocations Retreat this coming 11-13 May for tertiary students. He encouraged us to go(but its only for guys, gals can go for Choice retreat)... still considering but actually its not a bad idea to c what it is about. Even my cat class boys had gone for such retreats before.. Think it is not so intimidating if a whole group go together, cos like wad Fr. said, can hide behind each other. Anyone interested? And also we thinking of going to Genting (ideal place for Artz Retreat?.. haha) or anywhere just to R and R prob first 2 weeks of May...
More holidays plans - Church Con 3 camp in end May then CSS FOC in June. Finally thinking of LISS in July.... plus its time to start doing relief teaching during this break.

But reality sets in.. its only Day 1 of Week 7. 7 to 8 more weeks to go.....

Great fellowship, great company, great food! Thank you Elaine and Steph for opening up your homes for us to gather together and have fun! Thanks for the food! And also thank you Moses for organising it! Playing In between was damn fun! haha.. i am sure Marc will agree with me and I dun think i am that suay a dealer la, need me to add money to the pile wad. So I am doing all a favour. Haha. It was just great fun! BUT, Epic Movie wasnt that good - damn lame and random dun really think it was funny.. watched it Daryl, Sam and Malo-ery.. while the others watched Letters from Iwo Jima, nvrmind will watch it next week instead. We should do this every year man!!


Josephians

4 of us taking random photos after Epic Movie

Fellowship!

Acting Cool? haha

HE IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME! Yesterday's rally was amazing and awesome man! No words can really describe how I felt during the rally. Preparation for CAW and Rally itself started only 5 weeks ago, back then we had no clear direction of where we were heading. All we knew was to make CAW at a bigger scale and to make Rally that of a Shine Jesus Shine scale. Having that vision, we formed our Rally Team! Yes our amazing Rally Team - Publicity (Si Bei Fun peeps), Admin (Team Admin) and our Programmes (SJI dominated team)... without all this people being part of Rally and without their hard work, dedication and more importantly their passion to serve God, Rally yesterday would have been impossible.

Through this Rally, I really felt that God works in the most marvellous ways. Right from the start, we were worried about the numbers exceeding what CJC PAC could take. And our reservation list actually had about 770 people who signed up. We were worried that we would have to turn people away. But HE didnt allow us to turn anyone away and HE ensured that everyone had a seat including the organisers. Just looking at the auditorium filled with the people who came forth to experience really just brought a smile to my face. We were worried about so many other things, standing position of ushers, registration problems, programme flow etc.. but really in the end things didnt follow according to plan but it turned out sooo well... HE took control of all that we did. The spirit really got everyone's heart on fire, through the priase and worship and from the sharings, the exposition of the blessed sacrament and the praying over. Talking about praying over and resting in the spirit, I used to be quite skeptical about it and even when Fr. Simon was demonstrating it during his sermon, I had my doubts. Through a twist of events, I actually ended up being a prayer warrior together with Steph. Sometimes its better not to doubt. I was afraid at first but I somehow decided to get the courage and told myself to let the Spirit to take control of me. After witnessing the first person being slained, I realised that it was really the Spirit and I could feel HIS presence. As more people got slained, I started to actually feel the Holy Spirit working in me and I felt inspired by it. It was amazing!! Thought I never experience what it is like to rest in the spirit, but just being able to be part of it was really heartening. The atmosphere was high, real high, high on the eagerness to want to worship and praise him. It was awesome, simply awesome. At that point, I knew all the efforts placed by everyone was worth it for HEARTS were really on Fire.

Now that Rally its over, I am thankful for this whole experience, I have gained so much from it. Thankful for making us His instruments in bringing people to Him. Thankful for the angels He sent.
Think I must really thank my co-head, Steph, it has been great working with her, thankful for her support and for all e late nite phone meetings, those stressfull days, for all the prayers, those trips to adoration room, doing the 9 day novena and of cos for her bimbo-ness and her nonsense but really also for bringing so much joy to us all also.
Marc Khoo.. This Boss is one great support to Steph and I, he has been a great source of inspiration and a great role model. anyway.. SJI boy that's y!haha
Albert/Cheryl - Thanks for being around for us and supporting CAW right from Day 1. Outreach was a great success in campus and out of campus. Thanks for being around for us throughout this journey.
Publicity peeps - Moses, Elaine, Gomes, Rachel - mad rush to publicize rally in such a short time but you guys did it and it spread like wide fire. Registration and everythin was just amazing.. Thank you si bei funners.
PRogrammes peeps- Ewen, Ben Yeo, Chris, Marc, Dan Yeo. - The programme line-up was just great, it touched the lives of so many people including us man! Thank you for all the behind the scenes efforts too!
Admin peeps - Carol, Charmaine, Christine, Ryan, Ben C - Thanks for all the hard work in planning the admin and logistics for Rally, CAW Mass and for making everythin so professional. And Taking the extra effort in sourcing the stuff needed! Ben thanks for the website and all the gudiance too! You guys been great!

Amen! God is good All the Time, We have been his instruments in getting the youths' (young and old alike) hearts on fire! Now is the time - to worship, to witness, to rekindle, to experience. Youth Rally 2007 -